Hullo.

We can't stop here this is spoiler country

7,932 notes

strongermonster:

strongermonster:

strongermonster:

strongermonster:

i’m helping out at a creative writing workshop for uhhh i think 10-12s? 10-14s? idk. but that age range. and anyways

a) i forgot how fun this is

b) it’s really hard not to like, re-write for them and stick to just “hey add descriptions here, change this grammar, really cool ideas!” bc i’m an adult and not trying to talk over/railroad these kids, but i’m just so excited for their ideas!!!

c) little boys write cool stuff like “what if we went to mars but it sucked so we left, but left behind all our technology and the technology rose up and created its own society and then went to war with us for abandoning them? what if transformers had 100x the war crimes? what if the earth blew up. what if we were the robots all along?”

d) little girls out here writing like “aunt melanie’s skin was sloughing off the bones as her beloved dogs tore her apart, turning on her in blind animal instinct. the second she stopped providing food, she became food.” and a lot of body horror and dark themes about group pacts and betrayals and ritualistic murder/sacrifices. like a lot

there’s a board filled with dozens and dozens of little construction paper thought bubbles that have some pretty generic plot points in them (what if there were aliens? what if you time travelled? what is true love? what if you could talk to animals? kinda stuff) and we encouraged them to write at least a paragraph for each one and not just pick the one that sounded coolest, just to see what sparks inspiration.

EVERY single little girl took the ‘fall in love one’ and did something unconventional with it.

some of them were stories about self-empowerment and falling in love with yourself, or falling in love with the mundane, life itself, a pet, a garden, a hobby, just loving being alive! (😭🥺🥰)

but a lot of them were deeply fucked up stories about like “what if you fall in love with a guy but he doesn’t like you the same amount back, so you biopsy his liver (??) because you found an old polish love potion/spell, but it backfires like some kinda djinn wish and you actually mind control him and it takes you years to notice that you’re whole love life has been a deception bc you accidentally turned on god mode without realizing it, and now you’re questioning if you’re even lovable at all bc this is the only person you’ve ever allowed to love you, and it wasn’t even real, so now you’re spiralling into a breakdown, but that old polish spell book you buried under a tree is whispering your name so you try to fix it and make everything worse?”

me, turning to the teacher who is also doing this: hey so, i’m personally really cool with the tone and direction these girls take, but is any of this? how you say… a red flag?

teacher: little girls have really rich inner lives to combat the way they’re puppeted by society in real life. they’ll learn to censor it out in a couple years, but it doesn’t go away.

me, who was also a weird little girl who phased in and out of weirdness depending on social settings: nice.

Update: the children have discovered collaborative writing, plunging their weirdness to new depths via team effort.

they are now creating a story/comic(/movie??) that seems to be a thinly veiled allegory for killing authority figures via psychic powers gained through a ring tainted with frog poison that also kills the wearer, but you can only kill one other person so its a 1:1 death ratio/murder-suicide for the greater good, so the characters start out willingly sacrificing themselves to 'rid the world of evil’ but, like all things of this nature, it becomes corrupt and they start forcing people to do psychic murders

(via krem-aclassi)

34,315 notes

jellybeanium124:

I think it should take longer to make tv shows and movies. I think shooting days should be shorter. I think AD’s lives should be longer. I think we shouldn’t have to be in a goddamn rush all the time. I think we should have the time it takes to make good art. I think fans should wait even longer than they do and be happy that everyone who made the art is getting full nights of sleep.

(via safyresky)

615 notes

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

I want to make a post that says “the blue- and white-collar worker dynamic follows karate belt rules” because of the whole legend about karate belt colors advancing due to the person’s sweat staining the belt. However I cannot make that post since the karate belt thing is an urban legend and I know if that post were to breach containment I would have 20 people in my notes per day explaining karate belt colors to me and im just too busy this week for that

the blue- and white-collar worker dynamic follows karate belt rules

A poorly made MS Paint image that says "this user understands the origins of the karate belt color myth and does not need it further explained to them"ALT

(via melancholicmarionette)

123,942 notes

jackhawksmoor:

phantom-cosmos:

sneakyspades:

tearsovercaprisuns-deactivated2:

how is the kentucky derby not trending on here?? the horse with the lowest odds wins and immediately starts biting everything in its sight, that sounds like a tumblr legend to me

oh my fucking god

image

This horse wasn’t even supposed to be in the race. Horse number 20 (can’t remember it’s name) dropped out the day before for whatever reason, and Rich Strike was just barely able to sneak a spot into the derby before the deadline. Not to mention that this was just some garbage $30,000 horse that didn’t have any kind of impressive breeding (yes I am aware $30k is still a lot, but for a Kentucky Derby horse, that’s chump change). He was the second biggest upset in the history of the Derby, with one other horse (Donerail) winning with 91-1 odds before in 1913 (Which, for reference, I’m pretty sure Donerail with his 91-1 odds still holds the record for the worst odds in the history of the race. Just for context of how shit Rich Strike’s 80-1 odds were. Not THE worst, but definitely up there).

I am in love with this shit horse who wasn’t even supposed to be there, had some of the worst odds in the history of the race, and had the worst starting position who completely destroyed all of the favorites to win. Watching him come up to first right at the last second was THRILLING.

This story is fucking hilarious

So Rich Strike has barely won a race, but he ALWAYS shoots up in the last stretch. He goes from 11th to 4th, from 8th to 3rd. Rich Strike hits the final corner and suddenly gets flashbacks to his previous life as a Klingon warrior. He starts snarling curses and heads for the finish line like it insulted his ancestors and must PAY, that’s just how he runs races

And this was a blisteringly fast time for the Kentucky Derby- one of the fastest races EVER. When the announcer realized the time when they hit the halfway point he was like “Jesus CHRIST” It was incredible. Which means the lead horses, the favorites, were sprinting as hard as they could the entire race. By the time they got to the end they were exhausted

And here comes Rich Strike, turns the last corner and his vision goes red. The lead horses can’t pick up the final sprint like usual- they already ARE going flat out. Rich Strike comes up on the inside, NOT exhausted by fighting for the lead spot, howling “DEATH BEFORE DISHONOR” like the complete fucking lunatic he is and just blows past everyone

He’s ready to kill. He wants to tear into some Romulans and destroy the Federation, and he wins everything

Then the guy on horseback whose job it is to help slow the running horses down after they cross the finish line comes up and Rich Strike LOSES HIS SHIT

He bites the other horse, he bites the rider, he bites himself. He’s like “oh you think you can slow ME down?! I’LL KILL YOU. QAPLA!”

He’s completely insane and I love him

(via narwhalsarefalling)

Filed under this is boris from going postal

52,968 notes

red-tips:

:

greelin:

greelin:

someone you order from on ebay or whatever putting a handwritten note with the item for no reason at all except to sincerely say thank you and hope it arrived safely

image

good GOD when they do that and also include additional stuff like stickers or candy or another random item you did not order but they assumed you’d like “just because”…..

image

When they have tiny doodles on the notes or box

image
image

(via narwhalsarefalling)

70,413 notes

priscellie:

witchern:

Picket sign reads: "Give up just ONE yacht"ALT
Two picket signs. The one on the left reads: "Can we make this contract more accessible to a wider audience?" The one on the right reads: "My edible just kicked in, I'll do this ALL NIGHT"ALT
Picket sign reads: "My neck, my back, we need a fair contract"ALT
Picket sign reads: "Pay your writers or we'll spoil Succession"ALT
Picket sign reads: "ChatGPT doesn't have childhood trauma"ALT
Picket sign reads: "Int. your ass. My foot enters"ALT
Picket sign reads: "My gay little jokes bought your Tesla"ALT
Picket sign reads: "Stop making writers go outside"ALT
Picket sign reads: "Bad news, studios... 'Not writing' is LITERALLY my favorite thing. I can do this FOREVER"ALT

writers shouldn’t need to go on strike – but when we do, we’re funny as fuck.

some of my personal faves, taken from a longer twitter thread by jenny yang. learn more about the strike here.

ID: The signs read:

  1. Give up just ONE yacht.
  2. Can we make this contract more accessible to a wider audience?
  3. My edible just kicked in, I’ll do this all night.
  4. My neck, my back, we need a fair contract
  5. Pay your writers or we’ll spoil Succession.
  6. ChatGPT doesn’t have childhood trauma
  7. INT. YOUR ASS. My foot appears.
  8. My gay little jokes bought your Tesla
  9. Stop making writers go outside
  10. Bad news, studios… “Not writing” is literally my favorite thing. I can do this forever.

(via apocalys)

15,567 notes

thebiballerina:

Hello, Sherlock Holmes adaptation writer. I have trapped you in this room. It is fully furnished and comfortable. On the table, you will notice a copy of A Scandal in Bohemia by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, of which redistribution is perfectly legal, as the work is in the public domain. You will notice it is rather thin. You have 24 hours to read the approximately 8,550 words in this story. To exit this room, all you must do is summarize the plot of the story without referring to Irene Adler as a seductress or implying she is attracted to Sherlock Holmes. Good luck.

(via lostimist)